Oh, Honestly!

Real Life for Real Moms

Hey Dads, I Have Something to Say to You

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A Letter to Dads

Hey dads, I have something to say to you

Hey Dads,

I see you.

I see you in your yard, playing ball with your kids, sharing tips on how to improve their stance or catch that fly ball. I see you mowing the lawn, a child on one knee with a smile stretched across her face, as you go back and forth from one treeline to the other.

I see you at church, dropping your kids off in the nursery; hanging around a few extra minutes because they’re a little unsure of the new surroundings. I see you going right to the toys you know they’ll like, playing with them as they get comfortable, and then quietly moving away when you know the time is right.

I see you in the grocery store, doing the weekly shopping. I see you picking out fruit like a boss, grabbing ingredients for a week’s worth of healthy meals, and keeping the kids from going crazy, all at the same time.

I see you at work, putting in long, hard hours, even though you’d rather be home. I see you setting aside your wish list because you put the needs of your family before yourself without a second thought.

I see you at home, taking bath and bed duty because it’s second nature. I see you giving cuddles and telling stories and saying “I love you.

I see you doing things differently than your wife. And I see it driving her a little crazy, but it’s okay because you should be doing things differently than she does.

I see you ignoring the lie that society has been trying to feed us for years: That misguided idea that in order to elevate women, we must trample down men. The one that tells us dads are deadbeats or lazy or idiots or a little bit of all three.

I see you teaching your kids by example what it means to be a man. I see you being strong, humble, loving, and firm. I see you living with integrity and honor.

I see you. And just in case you haven’t been told, you are appreciated.

About Lauren

If you enjoy picture-perfect home decor, perfectly prepared recipes, and perfectly behaved children, you've come to the wrong place. Meet Lauren. She isn't perfect, but she's perfectly real.

Comments

  1. Dawn says

    I love, love, love this! It bothered me a lot on Father’s Day this year when so many people were posting negative comments on Facebook talking about the horrible men in their lives or only showing appreciation to the mom’s who take on both roles. Guess what?! My stepson is a wonderful single father who has sole custody of his 5 year old and he does not expect anyone to take notice because he is too busy doing what’s right by his son.

    • Lauren says

      Thanks Dawn! It bothers me too. There will always be bad examples of fathers out there, but there are SO MANY good examples. I felt it was necessary to let them know that they’re doing a good job.

  5. Cynthia says

    Outstanding post! This fits my ex husband (daughters father) completely! I like to take time every so often to tell him these things because he IS truly appreciated and loved. (Not the husband /wife kind of love anymore but definitely a friend kind of love)

    • Lauren says

      It’s awesome that you have a relationship with him that allows you to say that he’s a good dad (and it’s awesome that you take the time to say it!!). It’s always so sad when divorces end badly and the kids are caught in the middle.

  6. Tove Stakkestad says

    This is so spot on – and thank you for writing it! This applies to my husband – more and more each day. I think fatherhood doesn’t come as easy to some men as motherhood tends to do. But the dads I know are loving and participate in their children’s lives. My husband has become an AWESOME dad over the years – and YES he does things differently! 🙂

  7. Ana Lynn says

    I read an article today that was completely opposite of what you described here, and I commented there as well. The first article described my ex husband to a T. This one described my husband to a T. I have to admit that for a while during my first marriage I lost faith in male gender but I am glad my husband restored my faith. Very nice article, and yes, all those dads out there doing their job deserve to be appreciated!

  8. Frank says

    I appreciate the sentiment; and yes it is appreciated when we fathers receive it. However, for most of us; we aren’t looking for the appreciation. We are just trying to validate ourselves in how we see our children take on an aspect of who we are. My children are starting to really blossom with my sarcastic streak, and they are learning that it is completely fine to try several ways to getting the same goal, or even that it is ok to stand your ground and fight for what you believe in. But they are also learning that cooling off must come from within, that talking things out into the minute variables will be better than seeing constant upsets at small failures, and sometimes, just sometimes, you can be wrong no matter how right you were.

    As for the lazy, idiotic, or deadbeats; within all of us resides the traits of these three. It’s how we choose to let them out that really makes us one. I know this because I am all three with a few pinches of others mixed in for measure.

    • Lauren says

      I know most dads aren’t looking for appreciation, but that’s why it’s so fun to offer it! And you’re right, we all (dads AND moms) have the ability to be lazy, idiotic deadbeats, but I think dads get an unfair wrap as typically being that way, when in my experience, that is far from the truth. Sure, some fall in that mode, but most dads are doing the best they can (and they’re doing a really good job!).

  9. V says

    First of all, that illustration at the top of your blog is hilarious…my life 5 days a week!

    Secondly, I just found your blog and it’s great! Love it. Very refreshingly real, and honest.

    Have an awesome week!

    V

    • Lauren says

      I’m glad you like it! When I first made the header, I wondered if people would get it since you have to look at the whole thing in order for it to really make sense. Thanks for your comment!!

  10. Lizzie Lau says

    I see great Dads at the playground and sometimes at playdates too. Unfortunately, my four year old daughter is starting to notice them too, and describes a heartbreaking sense of loss, even though she was only a year old when her father moved across the country. She doesn’t remember him ever living with us, and only remembers our most recent visit. The good news is that she has several fantastic male role models in her life. My Dad, my sister’s husband, and the husbands of a few of my friends.

  12. Cheron Yon says

    I love this! I often think dads get overlooked. I have a very helpful husband and I am so grateful for him! After reading this I gave him a call and thanked him and told him how much I appreciate all he does for his family.

  13. Heather @ Life of a Traveling Navy Wife says

    I.LOVE.THIS. My husband has four girls (three biological and one bonus aka step daughter from a prior wife). It is a somewhat complicated matter, yet, he is amazing. His love and dedication to those girls is astounding and I think it is wonderful you have pointed out that society is sometimes full of it. The irony is I am CFBC and often clueless when it comes to kids. He teaches me. Part of why I Love him so very much is because of the kind of dad he is. Clapping. Sharing. And reading this to my husband… Thank you.

    • Lauren says

      Thanks Heather! I think the contribution of dads gets overlooked way too often. They play such an important role; it’s time we gave them credit for it!