Oh, Honestly!

Real Life for Real Moms

The Deep End of Parenthood

By

ParenthoodThe Deep End of Parenthood

To what can I compare the overwhelming nature of parenting young children?

It’s like being shoved in the deep end when you don’t know how to swim. You may have read books on how to swim. You may have dipped your toe in the water. You may have even played in the shallow end. But suddenly you’re engulfed, your feet can’t find bottom, and you’re swallowing water at an alarming rate.

Through your mind runs a boggling array of emotions and thoughts: Fear, “I can’t swim!”. Panic, “I’m going to drown.”. Elation, “I’m in the deep end!”. Awe, “This is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.”. These thoughts don’t wait in a tidy little line to parade through your head. Oh no, they push and shove, piling on top of one another, falling off the other side, and clambering back to a place of dominance.

Just when you wonder if you’ll survive, your mouth finds air. You gulp it in, still inhaling pool water with every breath, but oh how wonderful that oxygen is. Your heart slows infinitesimally, but it’s just enough for you to realize that you’re doing it. YOU’RE TREADING WATER.

Relief floods your soul until you look up, just in time to see something coming your way. You catch it, but it is heavier than you expected. Instead of keeping it up, it’s pulling you down. You kick faster, struggle harder. There’s no way you’re letting go of this thing, but you just. need. air.

Suddenly, it lightens. You don’t know if it lost weight or if you got stronger, but with renewed energy you once again find the surface. It’s beautiful here. You’ve grown accustomed to the water temperature. You can breathe. You can swim.

Then another thing comes flying your way. This time you’re pulled in opposing directions by the things you carry: Down, left, right, front, back, until you don’t know which way is which and you’re sure that this is it. There’s no way to find Up. You are utterly spent. You’ve reached your limit. You cannot go on.

But your will still battles, until again the load lightens. The pulling lessens and you even find yourself being helped by those things you’re holding onto. Occasionally they drag you under, but they can also act as buoys. You start to work together to stay above the surface.

You know that there will be more moments of going under. More moments of panic and discouragement and being sure you can’t do it.

And you also know there will be many more moments of staying afloat. Of awe and wonder and elation.

And of absolute certainty that being shoved in the deep end without knowing how to swim was the best thing that ever happened to you.

 

 

About Lauren

If you enjoy picture-perfect home decor, perfectly prepared recipes, and perfectly behaved children, you've come to the wrong place. Meet Lauren. She isn't perfect, but she's perfectly real.

Comments

  1. Tricia says

    What a perfect analogy! As my son gets older, some things get easier, but we also face new challenges. I’m sure it’ll be that way the rest of the way. Great post!

    • Lauren says

      I’ve heard people say that it never gets easier, it just gets different, and it’s true. But there’s something about those first couple of years that are just so all-consuming. Maybe I’m just getting a breather before we hit the pre-teen/teen angst. Yikes!

    • Lauren says

      It’s true. We can savor the good times knowing that they won’t last forever and we can get through the tough times knowing that good ones are always ahead.

  3. Michelle says

    Brilliant! Yes, yes, it is exactly like that. Luckily, the entire human race doesn’t depend on swimming to survive. 🙂 it is a good thing babies are cute, or else no one would ever have them, knowing what you have to go through! Parenting is hard. But the rewards are endless.

  4. Tove Stakkestad says

    Oh wow – I found myself holding my breath as I read this… I almost found myself flailing at my desk – you described it perfectly – so perfectly. I will have to share this with my readers. Especially mothers of special needs children, – we feel like this A LOT. THANK YOU.

  6. Marta of Baby Blues says

    Wow. What an amazing piece. I am the mom of a 11-months-old boy (whom I love like crazy) and I can completely relate to all the feelings you described. Yes it’s an underwater roller-coaster, yes it’s petrifying and magnificent and yes I wouldn’t ever want to step off it, even if I could. Great work, you have a new fan right here.

  8. Mandy says

    This is so beautiful and so very true parenting is both the scariest and best thing in the world. Thank you for linking up I’m hopping over from the Letters to Amelia Blog!

  11. Debbie says

    A brilliant description of parenthood. The moments we feel like we are actually swimming make the panic of drowning seem worthwhile! As a Mum of two teenagers we seem to tread water more often now.

    Popped over from #SHINEBlogHop

  12. Carrie This Home says

    Yes! A lot of days I feel like I’m drowning too! But you said it so well–becoming a parent is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. So keeping that perspective in mind helps me on those often frequent days when I feel overwhelmed.