I’m about to say something that most of you will agree with: The past few years have been hard. Anyone who lived through Covid can attest to that, but honestly, for me, it’s been the years after 2020 and the situations that have little to nothing to do with a worldwide pandemic that have kicked my butt.
I certainly don’t have the market cornered on hardship, and in fact, compared to many people, the things that have knocked me down are mostly pretty minor. I think the thing that’s made it tough though, is that every time it feels like I’m regaining my footing, I get knocked back down again. Skinned knees aren’t as bad as a broken ankle, but they still hurt.
One of the latest blows was losing my job. I wasn’t fired; it was just a matter of a big company taking over a small company and restructuring. It happens all the time, and this time, I was one of the casualties.
So now, here I am, squarely in mid-life, and very much feeling the messy middle. We have growing kids, aging parents, health issues of our own, projects and plans that are indefinitely paused, and now a job search that leaves me feeling very unqualified for basically everything.
This is the messy middle. It’s all the stuff that everyone our age experiences. Sad things, scary things, hard things… it’s real life, and at the moment, it happens to be pretty discouraging.
That’s not to say that everything is awful because it’s not. There is so much good in this little life of mine. So much beauty and fun. Hard is hard, but it isn’t the absence of good.
So why am I sharing this? After years of allowing this space to sit dormant, why come back with something so (vaguely) personal?
Is this my way of starting up my blog again? I honestly don’t know. Is this just a way for me to get my writing fix now that I’m not doing it for a paycheck? It’s certainly possible.
Here’s the thing, and I’ve said it before: I think there’s a huge need for open conversations amongst people in the messy middle. There are thousands of “mommy blogs” and social media groups for parents with young kids, but they become fewer and farther between as the kids and the moms get older. I understand why. Most of the things that you, your spouse, and your kids go through in these middle years aren’t things you want to broadcast across the internet (nor should you). So until I figure out what I’m doing, I guess that leaves me back where I was when I stopped writing here the last time.
In the meantime, just know that if you’re in the messy middle and you feel like life keeps shoving you down and skinning your knees, you’re not alone. Maybe we can’t share as many specifics with each other as we used to, but we can certainly extend a hand and a kind word… and maybe a Neosporin-soaked Band-aid for those knees.