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On the hard days, REMEMBER

August 6, 2014 By Lauren

Remember

It’s been a hard day. Kids squawking and squabbling. Too much noise, not enough peace.

I remember my first night as a mom. After everyone went home and I was alone with my hours old baby. How I marveled at his silky soft skin. His tiny, perfect features. The way he knew exactly where to go for sustenance and love. And the only sound was the little piggy snort he made.

So I stop. And I tune out the noise. And I soak in the details of my children. The way they look as they play, how they feel when my arms encircle their small bodies, how they come running when they need me.

It’s been a hard day. Nothing getting accomplished. Too much to do, not enough time.

I remember hours spent in a worn recliner with a small, warm body heavy on my chest, breathing in time to my heartbeat. There were stacks on the coffee table, dishes in the sink, laundry strewn across a bedroom floor. It would all still be there when he woke up and that was okay.

So I stop. And I tune out the to-do list. And I sit with my children, ignoring everything that needs to be done because it will still be there later. And what truly needs to be done is this.

It’s been a hard day. Mounting frustration over messes and toys and nothing and anything. Too much chaos, not enough order.

I remember having helpers for meals and laundry and cleanup time and nothing and anything and loving it. And not being concerned about the growing messes and disorganization, but instead enjoying the time spent teaching and learning and being together.

So I stop. And I tune out my frustration. And I let them help, despite the extra work it requires. I watch them learn and bask in the glow of their accomplishments. And it’s worth all the extra effort.

It’s been a hard day. Feeling like motherhood’s worst failure. Too many broken promises, not enough energy to make it right.

I remember tears and whispered apologies and prayers to help me do better, be better. And there were little arms around my neck and unreserved forgiveness.

So I stop. And I tune out my failures. And I ask forgiveness, again. And I am thankful, so thankful, for second and third and fourth chances.

Has it been a hard day?

Remember.

 

 

Filed Under: Family Life, Parenting Essays Tagged With: childhood, children, encouragement, fleeting, hard days, love, memories, motherhood, remember

About Lauren

If you enjoy picture-perfect home decor, perfectly prepared recipes, and perfectly behaved children, you've come to the wrong place. Meet Lauren. She isn't perfect, but she's perfectly real.

Comments

  1. Kristen says

    August 6, 2014 at 10:15 am

    This is lovely Lauren. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Lauren says

      August 6, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      Thanks Kristen!

  2. Jthorn says

    August 6, 2014 at 12:07 pm

    Exactly. Right here, right now…my son is little. He won’t be little long. Dishes and laundry and all the rest never ever end, but childhood is fleeting. Let’s soak it in.

    • Lauren says

      August 6, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      Absolutely. And on the days when I’m not who I want to be, I try to remember the person (and mom) I was before life got more hectic.

  3. Maggie Draper says

    August 6, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    That was the one piece of advice I never forgot..the cleaning can always wait. Kids come first.

    • Lauren says

      August 6, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      My mom always used to say this little poem: “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ’til tomorrow, for babies grow up we have learned to our sorrow. So settle down cobwebs; dust go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.”

  4. Leslie Kendall Dye says

    August 6, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    Oh my goodness, this last week or two I have been OVERWHELMED by nostalgia for the days you are talking about –the baby days when there was so much less mess somehow and so much lack of worry about napping and letting it all go to hell because snuggling with the tiny one was so certainly the right thing. And now things are much messier and more complicated, but thank you for this reminder that it is STILL OK to let the unimportant stuff (all of it) slide as long as you hold your kid and exhale. I really needed this today!

    • Lauren says

      August 6, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      Yes, I liked myself more back then, so I’m trying to get back to where I was.

  5. Tammy @ creativekkids says

    August 6, 2014 at 10:57 pm

    I am going to have to read this about once a week! We finally scrapbooked today–something my girls have wanted to do all summer. I need to remember that the mess . . . and blogging .. . can wait–but not the memories!

    • Lauren says

      August 7, 2014 at 7:12 am

      I might have to read it every day 😉

  6. Megan Walker says

    August 7, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    It’s important to do that sometimes, just stop by remember what is truly important in life. Your children will never remember the laundry which didn’t get done on a hard day, but they WILL remember a mother who played with them.

    Thanks for sharing on Hump Day Happenings!

    • Lauren says

      August 7, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      Thanks Megan!

  7. Karen says

    August 8, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    We must have been cut from the same mold because I totally relate to what you wrote. It’s been lots of years, but I was just like that. Those first few hours, days with a new baby was amazing, but then life barreled in and the piles, the messes, the dishes…they all cast their shadows. Thankfully, there is grace!
    Your words are beautiful – thank you for sharing!

    • Lauren says

      August 8, 2014 at 10:56 pm

      Thanks so much Karen! I love the way you worded that… all those things do like to cast their shadows.

  8. Susen says

    August 9, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    beautifully said!

  9. Rebekah @survivingtoddlerhood says

    August 14, 2014 at 10:58 am

    Love this!! It gives me a new perspective, now I just need to remember it. 🙂

    • Lauren says

      August 14, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      Thanks Rebekah!

Trackbacks

  1. Thoughtful Thursdays: Busy Week! #linky - Creative K Kids says:
    August 14, 2014 at 8:52 am

    […] Honestly!  wrote a post called On the hard days, REMEMBER!  that are children are more important than the messes and bad […]

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About Lauren

If you enjoy picture-perfect home decor, perfectly prepared recipes, and perfectly behaved children, you've come to the wrong place. Meet Lauren. She isn't perfect, but she's perfectly real. Read More…

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