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Making new mom friends is like trying to pick up a guy

June 5, 2014 By Lauren

Picking Up Friends

She catches your eye across the playground. She has a cute haircut and is wearing those sandals you’ve been eying. The kid she’s pushing in the swing appears to be about the same age and gender as the one you chase around on a daily basis. This woman is worthΒ  further inspection.

You casually move towards the swing set, stopping to catch your child at the bottom of the slide. You point him in that general direction, hoping he’ll follow your lead. As soon as he catches sight of the swings he takes off running. Success! You quickly run a hand through your hair and smooth your shirt before sidling up beside her as your little one reaches his arms up to be lifted into the seat.

[convertkit form=4880120]

Once he’s settled, you back up a few paces and give her a tentative smile. Your heart beats a bit faster when she smiles back and says something about the eternal appeal of swings. Yes! She spoke first. That’s a great sign.

You chat easily for a few minutes and learn that she shares several of your interests and only lives one town over. You can totally picture having play dates with this woman. The two of you sipping coffee at the kitchen table, swapping stories of the funny things your kids say, your cherubs playing happily in the next room.

Before you know it, your relationship will be at the next level: Leaving the kids with the husbands and going shopping or for pedicures, maybe grabbing a bite to eat before heading home. If things go really well you might be able to convince your husband that she and her husband are perfect ‘couple friends’ material.

pedicures

But wait, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Back to the swing set. The kids are starting to lose interest and you know you don’t have much time left. So how should you play it? Cool and slightly aloof; waiting for her to make the first move? You don’t want her to think you’re over-eager, or worse, desperate. Sure, you haven’t hung out with another woman your own age in you don’t remember how long, but you can’t let her know that.

You’re just about to throw caution to the wind and ask if she wants to get together sometime when her kid starts crying. He pinched his finger in the chain and is not at all happy about it. She quickly lifts him from the seat, kisses his finger, and rubs his back, but her attempts to soothe him are unsuccessful. As his cries become louder, she gives a hasty goodbye and heads for her car.

You watch her go with mounting dismay, consider calling out to her to stop, but think better of it and watch as she buckles in her son and drives away. You were so close, yet now she’s gone and you didn’t even get her name. A quick scan of the playground reveals no other appealing possibilities.

Disheartened, you lift your son from the swing and set him down on the ground. As he takes off across the grass you suddenly remember: She said she frequents this park. Maybe hope isn’t lost after all! Looks like daily trips to the playground are in order until you just happen to bump into each other again.

You smile to yourself as you follow your son towards the slide. You can just feel it; those pedicures are right around the corner.

Filed Under: Family Life, Parenting Humor Tagged With: dating, hanging out, making friends, moms, pedicures, play dates, women

About Lauren

If you enjoy picture-perfect home decor, perfectly prepared recipes, and perfectly behaved children, you've come to the wrong place. Meet Lauren. She isn't perfect, but she's perfectly real.

Comments

  1. Jocelyn McGaffic says

    June 5, 2014 at 10:07 am

    This was so funny, yet so true! I moved 1000 miles from home a year and half ago and still have a hard time making friends. At my age its awkward. This describes it perfectly!

    • Lauren says

      June 5, 2014 at 10:14 am

      Thanks Jocelyn! I’ve been in the same place for a long time and I’m still bad at making friends. I have a hard time talking to people I know, let alone total strangers, lol.

      • Blaire says

        July 22, 2014 at 6:09 pm

        Well, Lauren, not sure where you are but I feel your pain!

        • Lauren says

          July 22, 2014 at 6:19 pm

          If you’re in Maine, maybe we can meet up at the playground and you can practice pickup lines on me, lol.

  2. Jennifer says

    June 5, 2014 at 10:15 am

    I’ve been waiting for this and I’m not disappointed! I think you’ve captured the essence of a woman who has a young child and her life is nearly consumed by it and almost desperate for adult interaction. This actually happened to me at the bookstore. My daughter started flirting with her daughter, but the mom wasn’t so shy and practically invited me over to her house right there! We’ve gone on a few outings to the park, but we’re ready for the next step and are going to the movies! Yeah, it’s almost like getting a date with a guy. I’m nervous and excited at the same time.

    • Lauren says

      June 5, 2014 at 10:37 am

      LOL, I love it! Have you decided what you’re wearing yet? That would be what I’d be stressing over.

      • Jennifer says

        June 9, 2014 at 6:23 pm

        Lol, actually I did a little. I wanted to look nice so I wore a cotton dress with some black knee length tights. Our date was great and we really got to know each other better. I’m so glad she came up to me.

  3. Kristen says

    June 5, 2014 at 8:52 pm

    So funny! IT is true though – it’s hard to find normal mom friends right? Let me know when you want to come to Miami…we can hang! πŸ˜‰

    • Lauren says

      June 5, 2014 at 10:06 pm

      You may not find me normal in real life πŸ˜‰

    • Laura says

      July 23, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      I understands this! I just relocated to the Miami/ Fort Lauderdale area with my husband and 2 yr old daughter! I am a hair stylist by trade but currently staying home! Meeting new people is hard at 36! I’ve tried swim lessons and dance classes so far! Any suggestions are appreciated

      • Lauren says

        July 23, 2014 at 1:34 pm

        Honestly, I’m such an introvert that I am probably not the one to ask. That said, this post has gotten so many hits that it makes me think there are a lot of moms out there who feel the exact same way. So as awkward as it feels, maybe just being willing to take that first step will result in some friendships. Maybe not with everyone you ‘hit on’ and maybe you’ll end up clicking with some women more than others, but I think it’s worth the risk! Good luck πŸ™‚

  4. Erlene says

    June 7, 2014 at 7:59 am

    What a funny post and one that I think most moms have felt. I’m really shy and I don’t normally make the first move, so this describes me almost perfectly.

    • Lauren says

      June 7, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      Same here Erlene! I am awful at starting conversations. It puts me way out of my comfort zone.

  5. SummersMom says

    June 7, 2014 at 9:44 am

    Lol funny and true!

  6. Paula Parker says

    June 7, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    Another fun post. I knew I would love it when I read the title. So impressed with your writing.

    • Lauren says

      June 7, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      Thank you Paula! I really appreciate that!

  7. Alicia @ Felt With Love Designs says

    June 7, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Read this the other day from one of your links on Facebook or Twitter. Loved it! I was actually just telling one of my friends about it too πŸ™‚

    • Lauren says

      June 7, 2014 at 9:35 pm

      Thanks Alicia!!

  8. Kelsie says

    June 7, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    Oh my gosh, this post is beyond perfect!

  9. Renee @ CreativeMamaMessyHouse says

    June 8, 2014 at 12:41 am

    Exactly my feelings! I am the first of my family to have kids, so even at family get togethers it’s a little awkward. And my youngest is at that play aggressive stage where I’m afraid he’s going to hit or kick someone’s kid, so trips to the park don’t happen as often as I would like.

  10. Winnie says

    June 8, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    It’s definitely funny and I enjoyed reading it πŸ™‚
    I cannot relate as I’m not a mom yet……

  11. mel@thedizzymom says

    June 12, 2014 at 8:29 am

    I’m dying here, that is so true! Friends are hard to make so when an opportunity presents itself pounce!

    • Lauren says

      June 12, 2014 at 9:08 am

      I guess the next time I go to the playground I’ll assume that the other mom is just as desperate as I am. Maybe I’ll open the conversation by inviting her over, haha.

  12. Carole says

    June 12, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Hahaha – so funny! And, so true…

    • Lauren says

      June 12, 2014 at 12:28 pm

      Thanks Carole!

  13. Michele says

    June 12, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    The almost exact same event happened to me today right before I read your post! I just moved to a new city so its tough getting up the courage to talk to other moms but after today’s event and stumbling across your article I’ve decided to be more outgoing and attempt to make some new friends at the park.

    • Lauren says

      June 12, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      That’s awesome Michele! I love when the timing of things lines up like that. Good luck!! You’ll do great πŸ˜‰

  14. Wanda says

    June 12, 2014 at 8:13 pm

    That is exactly how we met some of our best friends now. One and a half year old boy in tow and pregnant with number two and saw another mommy with same age girl and pregnant with number two! We now have regular play dates and swap babysitting. We enrolled the kids in gymnastics together and joke they are betrothed. Her oldest daughter one month older than my oldest son and younger daughter a month younger than my younger. I speak to moms all the time at the park!

    • Lauren says

      June 12, 2014 at 9:29 pm

      Love it!

  15. Patricia says

    June 13, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    It’s so funny how true this is. Making friends (or even small talk) with strangers is so painful to me, and I never know what appropriate follow-ups are (so I just let everything go). I need intermediaries to pave the way. It’s probably no surprise then that my friend set me up with my boyfriend. πŸ™‚

    • Lauren says

      June 13, 2014 at 1:00 pm

      I totally get it! Talking is hard!! If I could live behind a computer screen, I would have lots of close friends πŸ˜‰ Also, my MOM set me up with my husband. And I’m eternally grateful that she did πŸ™‚

  16. Michelle says

    June 25, 2014 at 2:49 am

    Haha.. This is funny because it is so true! Sometimes I find a mom friend who could be THE ONE but our kids just don’t get along. So I’m still on the hunt.

    • Lauren says

      June 25, 2014 at 7:41 am

      Oh, that’s a great point! It’s so much easier if the kids click!!

  17. Kylie says

    July 2, 2014 at 12:15 am

    Too funny!! Haven’t we all been there?

  18. Deb says

    July 22, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Hilarious and very close to how i feel. I always forget to introduce myself. It must be nerves. Ha ha. I liked this very much!

    • Lauren says

      July 22, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      Thanks Deb!

  19. Caryn says

    September 16, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    I remember reading this back a few months ago and smiling, after all I met one of my closest friends five years ago when walking with my son in the baby bjorn. She had hers in the stroller and we kept on bumping into each other during our power walks, so just gave each other our digits and the rest is history. I had to return and post, because my son just started KG and I’m finding myself feeling like I’m starting over, too. I’m laughing because while I am much wiser than I was on the playground years ago, I still sometimes feel like such a littler girl around new people. πŸ™‚

    • Lauren says

      September 16, 2014 at 12:51 pm

      This is the start of my third year being around the same school parents and I feel like I’m just starting to get to know some of them. It doesn’t help that I’m totally shy and awkward in public, but man, it’s hard! And now my middle child just started K4, so I have to start all over with a new group of parents, lol. I’m thankful to know that for the most part we’ll all be ‘together’ for the next 12 years, so I’ve still got time to get to know them!

  20. Sonya says

    September 28, 2014 at 2:05 am

    Love this! I am such an introvert myself and completely terrified when it comes to approaching potential “mom-friends”. Feels like everything I say is wrong or awkward, etc. It is like I am back in middle school and that is a time I would not revisit for all the money in the world – LOL! I am much more in my comfort zone when I can just skype with my out of town friend – LOL! It took me 3 years to forge and build a friendship with her and the thought of doing that again here seems way too nerve wracking sometimes. BTW, I would totally be your mom buddy – you are amazing!

    • Lauren says

      September 28, 2014 at 7:36 am

      We could sit around and be awkward together, haha.

  21. Aubrey @ 53weeks says

    March 6, 2015 at 11:08 am

    Funny! This is a good one!! I can relate, fortunately making Mom friends was pretty easy for me!! πŸ™‚

  22. Jennifer Johnson says

    March 7, 2015 at 7:47 am

    So funny and true. We moved alot when my kids were little and I felt like this every time!

    • Lauren says

      March 7, 2015 at 7:52 am

      I’d do awful if we moved a lot. I’m not so great at meeting people :/

  23. Kathryn Shirey says

    March 7, 2015 at 7:51 am

    Love this – so true! Now I’m in a different level of awkward – trying to setup playdates for my elementary-aged daughter with her friends – so often feel like I’m stalking these moms to figure out who they are, where they live, how to get in touch (since you don’t get to see the other moms now that we’re in big school). I miss the days of running into moms at day care and the playground – at least I saw them and could orchestrate such conversations πŸ™‚

    • Lauren says

      March 7, 2015 at 8:00 am

      That’s a good point! My kids go to a small school, so I think I’ll know the parents pretty much right on through. I did, however, send a message to the mom of a kid in my son’s preK class saying, “I know we’ve never met, but wanna come over?” because he was after me for weeks to have a play date with his friend.

  24. Jes @ Deadpan Diaries says

    March 7, 2015 at 9:50 am

    I saw your blog on the SITS sharefest! So funny! You have definite “mom pick up” game. I can never play it cool. As a southerner, I’m aggressively friendly. Of course I’ve heard these words come out of my mouth:
    “It’s not weird to be friendly when you’re from Louisiana.” Smooth:)

  25. adrian says

    March 7, 2015 at 11:06 am

    That is SO completely true. And I hate to say it, but it’s much worse for Moms of older kids and working Moms. I’ve eaten lunch by myself at work for like 5 YEARS now because the rest of my department works in another state and I haven’t managed to hook up with any of the other ladies and it’s just too weird to eat lunch with a group of guys. I finally found a Meet-Up group in my area for empty nesters and I’ve gone on a few activities with them. It’s a little weird, sort of like a dating service for bored Moms, but I’ve met some nice ladies that way. #SITSSharefest

    • Lauren says

      March 7, 2015 at 7:13 pm

      Good for you for getting out there! I always have good intentions of joining groups like that and then never do.

  26. Briana says

    March 7, 2015 at 12:32 pm

    This is soooo true!!!

  27. BritishMumUSA says

    March 7, 2015 at 9:24 pm

    You;ve got this. I am 45 with a 17 and 12 y/o living in the USA from London. Three years ago a woman stopped me as I was leaving her house after dropping off my oldest for a hang out. She and I got to chatting and we have been BFF’s ever since. This summer she will be moving to the East Coast, and guess what we will still talk on the phone every day, Skype and I will get to do girl weekends with her….. You can make friends…. I did even at my age πŸ™‚

    • Lauren says

      March 9, 2015 at 9:00 am

      I think having kids makes it a lot easier to strike up a conversation. You automatically have something in common!

  28. Cassidy Cruise says

    October 8, 2015 at 10:49 am

    This is hilarious! I definitely had a conversation about this with my husband when we moved halfway across the country. It brings me back to college and when I asked guys on dates πŸ˜‰ I played it cool with one mom but we kept running into each other everywhere around the city so we figured it was meant to be and now we hang out on an (almost) weekly basis. Love this post!

    Best,
    Cassidy
    http://tuesdaystantrum.blogspot.com/

    • Lauren says

      October 9, 2015 at 8:00 pm

      I love that! You two were meant to be, haha.

  29. Tarah says

    November 4, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    This is hilarious and so so true!!! My sister and I were joking around saying this same thing the other day! It’s like dating. After having my second baby and all my original mother group friends are still at work I have struggled feeling alone and not making any new friends. I recently met this lady at my sons soccer and your description above was exactly like how it was lol. She wasn’t giving my much in the end so I had to let her go. Maybe the time wasn’t right for us lol. I did just join another mothers group in my local area and all the ladies seem similar age and interests. It’s like being at a night club checking the guys out – you are sussing out which mums you get a good vibe from and who you can be lifelong friends with!

    • Lauren says

      November 5, 2015 at 5:41 am

      Haha! A mom’s group is probably a really good place to go. Everyone there is actively looking to pick someone up lol. Good luck!!

  30. Nicola says

    January 28, 2016 at 10:46 am

    Ha, so true! Love how you captured the inner life of so many of us! Thanks for sharing you. Looking forward to browsing on your site a little more πŸ™‚

    • Lauren says

      January 29, 2016 at 12:09 pm

      Thanks Nicola! I’m glad you could relate πŸ™‚

  31. Alessandra Ferguson says

    February 25, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    My. Life.

    Pretty sure I’ve done this with a mom at Chick-Fil-A recently….

    • Lauren says

      February 27, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      LOL! Nothing wrong with that!!

Trackbacks

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    May 1, 2015 at 8:34 am

    […] making new mom friends to picking up a guy?! If not, take a quick pause from reading this and click here to read that. But make sure you come back once you’re done, […]

  2. The One Mom Friend Every Mom Needs In Her Life says:
    September 5, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    […] Who do you tell? Do you want to talk to your spouse, your own mom, your childhood friend or the woman you met two weeks ago in the support […]

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About Lauren

If you enjoy picture-perfect home decor, perfectly prepared recipes, and perfectly behaved children, you've come to the wrong place. Meet Lauren. She isn't perfect, but she's perfectly real. Read More…

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