If you’re just joining me for the Keeping It Real Challenge, please click here to find out what it’s all about.
Sometimes the truth hurts. When it’s spoken in love, though, it makes you realize that changes need to take place.
Last week Eli said to me, “Why are you on the computer so much?”
It was like a punch in the gut. I immediately felt guilty and embarrassed. That particular day I had been on the computer even more than normal, and it had been a lot. So I said, “I know. I’ve been on here a lot today.”
Then I got another punch when he replied, “No, I mean every day.”
“Well Buddy, I write and I use the computer to do it, so…” My inadequate and unfinished explanation hung in the air between us until he went off to play.
Later I asked him, “Does it bother you that Mommy is on the computer so much?”
He told me it didn’t, which lifted a bit of the weight I was feeling, but still, I knew it couldn’t end there. “I want to not be on there so much,” I told him, “so if you think I am, I want you to tell me, okay?”
The next day I mentioned something to Eric about the blog and he (who had heard the question Eli asked the day before) gently spoke more truth into my heart.
The truth is that my job right now is to care for our children. The truth is that I’ve been treating this blog like a job. The truth is that I don’t make any money from it right now. The truth is that I waste a lot of other time online that could be spent in a much better way.
I want this blog to succeed. Once the kids are all in school, I’m really hoping that my writing will become my career. Because of that, I’ve been working hard to get this thing off the ground. But I’ve also been wasting a lot of time. And I also don’t have my priorities straight.
So this week I’ve started getting up early, before the kids, to get writing-related things done. Then I’ve been turning the computer off during the day so that I can spend good quality time with them and get stuff done around that house. Once they’re in bed, I do a little more work online.
I’m a work in progress. I still jump on my phone throughout the day when I may or may not need to. I’m still getting organized so that I can make the most out of my ‘work time’. But honestly, I’ve felt better about how things are going this week than I have in a long time.
Priorities are important in life and when we don’t have ours in the right order, we’ll feel it, even if we can’t put our finger on the problem. I’m thankful for a son and a husband who care enough to point me in the right direction.
And now the part of the post where I share pictures of our real, everyday life.
I know, I know, your Facebook feed has been flooded with these kinds of pictures. Well, you’ll just have to deal with two more 😉
I can’t believe how grown up Eli looks in this picture. What a difference from last year. Sigh 🙁
Every time we’d ask, Samuel would say he didn’t want to go to school, but he wasn’t nervous and he ended up loving it. He’s been singing the songs he’s learned all week. PS The adorable signs came from Carrie Elle and they’re FREE to print!
Have a great week and remember to keep it real!
Katie @ Pick Any Two says
I’ve been gut-punched this way too, and my son is only 2 years old. A few weeks ago he literally took my smartphone out of my hand and put it down…kids have a way of getting our attention on important issues, don’t they?
They sure do!
Interesting – it IS a hard balance. For example right not my kids are having a fabulous time playing school, so why not make the most of it and jump on the computer? The thing about parenting is we guilt ourselves soooo much. We want to be there for their every need, yet there’s a fine line between hovering and caring. I think it’s awesome that you took your sons words to heart, but also remember that you have to put your needs in there too! I say every SAHM deserves one day a week for at least 4 hours to do something for herself!
I absolutely agree with you. I don’t think I should spend every waking moment with my kids. It’s not good for them OR me. However, I don’t use my time wisely and spend way more time online than I need to or that even is healthy. (Like I’m on here right now and shouldn’t be 😉 ). So this new ‘system’ will be good for me, not only to set healthy boundaries, but also to prioritize better.
Part of me wishes I would have done something like this the past 8 months. That is how long I have been working hard on my blog. Now my oldest started preschool and I feel like I missed out on some time I should have spent with him. I am going to be working harder to not spend so much time on the computer because I too have been treating my blog like a job when I don’t make any money from it yet when my real job is to take care of my kids. While I know that I don’t need to spend every minute with my kids I think that if I spend an hour in the morning before they are up, naptime and 2 hours at night I should be able to keep up with it or at least that is what I want to start doing. Like I said I just wish I would have listened to my heart and gut and done this sooner. Love that you are putting this out there.
I’m so glad you’re joining me! It’s hard to not feel guilty for the wasted time, but I’m looking at it as a clean slate. Every day I can do my best to spend quality time with my kids, spend time doing the things I have to do, and spend time doing something I enjoy doing. I know I won’t get it perfect every day, but each morning is a chance to try again!