Week 40: The Day I Ran Out of Coffee

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You may notice that this week doesn’t have a movie title. It was just too much for my uncaffeinated brain. I might not go back.

5 am Alarm sounds. I have four stories burning a hole in my brain, so I get up right away, knowing I only have about 45 minutes of ‘free’ time to write before the day really begins.

5:05 Go downstairs. Immediately head to coffee maker. Discard yesterday’s grounds. Open cupboard.

5:07 OH. MY. WORD. We’re out of coffee.

5:08 Panic. Jump on Facebook to share the news in hopes some Facebook angel will rush to my home with a steaming cup fixed with just the right amount of cream and sugar.

5:09 No knocks on the door. I find a half-full bag of decaf. It’ll have to do.

6:00 Finish writing a brilliant piece on parenthood. It probably won’t make any sense once I read it with some caffeine coursing through my veins.

6:15 Shower. Consider climbing back in bed.

6:45 Wake the boys for school. Find a partially eaten apple shoved behind a couch cushion. It seems like a poetic way to start this day, but maybe that’s the decaf talking.

See that thing behind the couch cushion? It’s a partially eaten apple someone ‘hid’ there. My house is becoming a real live version of #Minecraft. I wonder where they’ve stashed their diamonds.

A photo posted by Oh, Honestly! (@ohhonestly) on Oct 10, 2014 at 3:58am PDT

7:15 Hubby comes downstairs. In a rare occurrence, he has more energy than me and thinks it might be fun to wrestle. Just stand there while he tries to tickle me. Consider laying down and curling up in the fetal position, but that means I’d have to stand back up in a minute, requiring far too much energy.

7:45 The condolences start to come via Facebook: “My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time,” says Kelly. Somehow knowing others are thinking of me makes me feel better.

https://www.facebook.com/ohhonestly/posts/362385780584734

7:52 Neighbor calls. Says they have a whole bag of Dunkin and her hubby will run it over if I want. The rain is coming down in sheets and a river is running down our road. I see animals lining up two by two, or maybe I’m just hallucinating. I say I’m okay for now and will call if I get desperate.

7:53 I wonder if I’ve waiting long enough to call back and tell them I’m desperate.

8:22 Take too quick of a swig of my second cup of decaf. It splashes down my chin and onto my shirt.

8:48 My eyelids feel weighted. I can’t stop yawning.

8:54 Annelise starts whining about something she can’t reach. I calmly tell her to use her words and she does. Take that, coffee.

9:22 Go to switch the laundry around and realize I never started the dryer. Touche, coffee, touche.

9:58 I’m hitting my 2 pm slump… four hours early.

11:31 Starting to get snappy at the Whiner.

11:56 Put Captain Whiny Pants down for an early nap. She needs it. Or maybe I do.

12:34 The noise maker suddenly goes quiet. This can only mean one thing. I wait.

12:35 Yup. Little footsteps coming down the stairs. She’s finally realized she can get out of her crib. I don’t even try to put her back in.

1:13 A two year old without a nap and a 32 year old without a coffee. We’re a match made in heaven.

2:23 Drive to school to pick up the boys. Maybe I’ll just rest my eyes at this red light.

3: 15 Drop Eli’s friend off at his house. His mom comes out to ask if I’ve gotten any coffee yet. I tell her I haven’t. She tells me she’ll give me some. I tell her I’m doing okay. I’ll send Eric out tonight to get some.

3:17 Leave her house feeling a wonderful sense of community with my fellow addicts. They get me. Tears of gratitude fill my eyes. Then again, maybe weepy-ness just a side effect of this unwanted detox.

4:43 Drive to the store with Annelise to buy coffee.

5:32 Captain Whiny Pants has returned en force. No nap has clearly taken it’s toll. Everything is a crisis. I don’t handle crises well when I’m not caffeinated.

6:01 One crisis too many. Annelise is in bed.

7:00 Only 10 more hours until I can get up and have a cup of coffee.

And now the part of the post where I share pictures of our real, everyday life.

Sparklers in October: Because we can!

It’s always a shock when we get a family picture that’s good of all of us.I love little hands.

Have a great week and remember to keep it real!