Today is Mother’s Day. It couldn’t be a more fitting day to celebrate such an occasion because five years ago today, on May 12th, 2008, you came into the world, making my lifelong dream of being a mommy come true.
You are only a day older than you were yesterday, but for some reason, five seems so much older than four. Maybe it’s because I know that five year olds go to school; not just preschool, but real, all day, every day school. And well, I can’t think about that without crying. Every. Single. Time. So we won’t think about it right now because today is your birthday and it’s a day to celebrate!
Your birth, like so many things in life, did not go as planned. Your heart rate began to decelerate during labor, so we had to get to you as quickly as possible. Daddy and I worried that your short term distress would cause long term problems, but we soon discovered that was not the case. You have been a smart little guy right from the start and your mind amazes me on a daily basis with everything it learns and remembers. I love this video of you when you were 21 months old, reciting the months of the year. Your sweet little voice gets me every time.
I have no doubt that that brain of yours will get you far in life, but more than your brain, I love your heart. You are one of the most loving people I have ever come across. Ever since you were a baby, you’ve loved to cuddle. Whenever we’re beside each other, your arm automatically goes around my neck and your fingers wind their way into my hair. I don’t know how many years I have left before you no longer want to cuddle with your mom, so until then I will savor every moment.
Your heart goes far beyond being a cuddle bug though. When I look at you I see a heart like David’s in the Bible. You don’t always do the right thing, but like David, when you realize where you went wrong, you’re quick to repent. Since David was a ‘man after God’s own heart’ I am so thankful to see that trait in you.
It’s been fun to watch your personality develop over the past five years. Sometimes I look at you and wonder how someone so different from me could come from my body: How outgoing and talkative you are, your confidence in every situation, that cuddle bug nature I mentioned earlier, your take charge attitude. All of these are traits that are so far from what I’m used to, but I’m so happy to see that you’ve ended up with them. Some of them will need guidance in order to develop into positive attributes instead of ones that cause you problems, but Daddy and I will do our best to help steer you in the right direction.
You’re personality is not completely foreign to me though. There are other times when I look at you and am amazed at how much like me you really are: Your stubborn streak, the quirky (obsessive compulsive?) way you have to do or say certain things the same exact way every time, your resistance to change and your sentimentality when you know change is imminent. You are part Mommy, part Daddy, and fully YOU, a completely unique person, all wrapped up in one cute little five year old package.
Some time in the future you will become a man, find a woman you love, settle down, and start a family. When I think of the way you treat the members of our family, I feel so happy for the girl who will get to be your wife and the children who will get to call you Daddy. You are playful and patient with Annelise and protective of both her and me. Daddy and I love to tease each other, but as soon as you see Daddy doing the teasing, you come running to my defense. I love it! You’re also thoughtful with all of us. You’ve been saving your piggy bank money for as long as I can remember because you want to buy a bike for Daddy, and every time you have spare change to buy something at the store you always think not only of yourself, but also of Samuel when making your purchase. On Christmas morning you could barely contain your excitement, not because of the gifts you were going to receive, but because of the gifts you were going to give. All of these little things tell me that you’ll take your job as protector and provider seriously some day. In the meantime, I’m thankful that I get to be around to watch you grow.
Happy birthday, little man. I love you more and more with each passing year (if that’s even possible!). Thank you for making me a mommy.
I like your letters 🙂 I wish I had written to my daughter when she was young. We are not very close and it breaks my heart 🙁 She will always be my baby, even though she has 2 boys of her own now. She is a good mom to them.
It’s not too late. She may be grown, but I bet she’d like to get letters from you now.