If you’re a boy mom, you’ve probably dealt with your fair share of grossness. Boys just have a different sense of cleanliness than girls and they’re not afraid to admit it.
One area in which my sons and I don’t see eye to eye is regarding the issue of hand washing after bathroom usage. Ever since the potty training days, I have drilled it into their little heads that we wash our hands after we go to the bathroom. Every time. Toilet. Sink. Toilet, sink. Toiletsink. These two things go together, always and forever. Unfortunately, the boys still haven’t gotten the message.
Nine Reasons My Sons Didn’t Wash Their Hands
Here are nine (I know there are more that I’ve missed) reasons my sons say they didn’t wash their hands. They think each of them is an ironclad excuse. I don’t go for any of them.
1. “I don’t waaaaant to.”
Said with a whine and just the slightest hint of accusation that I am the meanest mom alive for suggesting it.
2. “I did.”
Said with shifty eyes and dry as bones hands hidden behind their backs.
3. “I didn’t touch anything.”
Well, at least that explains why there’s pee all over the floor.
4. “I’ll miss some of the show.”
Possibly the most valid reason in the lot.
5. “They don’t look dirty.”
Let’s just assume they are. Always.
6. “I didn’t poop.”
There’s too much wrong with this one to even go there.
7. “Oh. I forgot.”
Said like the guiltiest person who ever ‘forgot’ something in his entire life.
8. “I. Don’t. Like. When. You. REMIND ME!!!”
Then by all means, I’ll shut up and you go to it!
9. “You didn’t tell me to.”
Wait, I’m confused. If I remind you, it’s my fault, but if I don’t remind you, it’s also my fault? Oh yeah, I ‘forgot’. I’m a mom. Everything is my fault.
So there you have it. Nine wonderfully creative excuses for not washing hands. Maybe my next post can be Nine Reasons Why My Sons Eat Supper With Their Fingers.
Herchel S says
I have been known to write “wash your hands” in large letters on the bathroom mirror with dry erase markers…
Yeah, but how do they see the note if they’re not in front of the sink??
OMG I’m just imagining them eating supper with their hands they didn’t wash. ewwwww….you are a much better boy mom than I would ever be. So funny!
I make them go back and wash them!!
I just sat here nodding my head because I have heard all of these!
It’s a universal problem.
Susanne/The Dusty Parachute says
#6 – EVERY time with the #6. 🙂
Do you wash your hands after using the snot sucker?
Tricia the Good Mama says
Oh no, so it doesn’t get better? haha My son absolutely hates getting his face wiped or hands cleaned. It’s crazy. He DOES like taking baths and showers though.
Mine like baths and showers too. Sorry :/
Mine are too young but I can already see this taking place. On another note one day these boys become men. I know this tidbit thanks to my husband who works in the same building as I do. He cannot resist showering me with the list of all of our male coworkers who don’t wash their hands. Just what I want to know before I go into a conference room with said hand washing offenders. Arrrr….their mothers would be horrified or at least I am on their behalf.
And the sad news is, they grow up to be men who don’t wash their hands either….I know. I am married to one of them!
Thankfully, my hubby is good about this.
Rabia @TheLiebers says
#6 all the way. Except on the (thankfully) rare occasion I hear it’s corollary, “I didn’t wipe!” Ugh!
Just a mess at the other end to clean up.
Robin Bobo says
But Moooooooom! I didn’t pee (or get poop) on my HANDS. They don’t need washing.”
Most of the time, I don’t even believe that, haha.
Very cute post and all too real for most moms, I’m afraid. Boys are the best!
They really are!
Creative Mama Renee says
Nailed it. I think I’ve heard every one of these! #7, 8, and 9 in succession pretty much sums up why every mom needs coffee/wine/chocolate/(insert your vice here) to survive motherhood!
I just about snorted out my tea. I heard 6 of these excuses from my four year old yesterday.
LOL! These boys… they’re all the same!